New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
