'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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