last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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