sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
