A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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