I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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