At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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