whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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