a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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