Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
