i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
did i walk over a car last night?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
