I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
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Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I think your dad took our porno
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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