Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
