he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
