I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
This is my gift to your gina
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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