I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
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Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
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No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.