I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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