Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.

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  (313): so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it. http://tfl.nu/rth5
  Replies (1) Good night (2895) Bad night (592)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.

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  (+44): We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in. http://tfl.nu/xqye
  Replies (8) Good night (3890) Bad night (1079)
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  (760): View more from California

  It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.

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  (760): It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major. http://tfl.nu/zd3s
  Replies (4) Good night (1969) Bad night (1095)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.

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  (313): It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks. http://tfl.nu/13qa
  Replies (16) Good night (1897) Bad night (1152)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I wish there were birth control emojis

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  (918): I wish there were birth control emojis http://tfl.nu/p00p
  Replies (16) Good night (574) Bad night (880)
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  (914): View more from New York

  How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man

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  (914): How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man http://tfl.nu/szzb
  Replies (2) Good night (1285) Bad night (483)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.

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  (602): Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/31f5
  Replies (3) Good night (1259) Bad night (496)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.

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  (423): I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves. http://tfl.nu/s92y
  Replies (2) Good night (709) Bad night (336)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.

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  (701): I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking. http://tfl.nu/71cy
  Replies (0) Good night (508) Bad night (355)
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  (707): View more from California

  Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..

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  (707): Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult.. http://tfl.nu/smpu
  Replies (6) Good night (884) Bad night (360)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.

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  (512): The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting. http://tfl.nu/6bg7
  Replies (2) Good night (455) Bad night (282)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong

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  (605): Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong http://tfl.nu/jxwn
  Replies (1) Good night (559) Bad night (313)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her

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  (717): Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her http://tfl.nu/d0n9
  Replies (2) Good night (360) Bad night (569)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.

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  (720): Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar. http://tfl.nu/9cgo
  Replies (3) Good night (986) Bad night (215)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment

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  (817): I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment http://tfl.nu/ub19
  Replies (4) Good night (765) Bad night (258)

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