Texts From Last Night

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  (224): View more from Illinois

  Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.

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  (224): Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable. http://tfl.nu/uirm
  Replies (22) Good night (1105) Bad night (3568)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.

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  (484): I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere. http://tfl.nu/zvpn
  Replies (20) Good night (5372) Bad night (1135)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.

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  (570): He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom. http://tfl.nu/2ayy
  Replies (5) Good night (917) Bad night (3536)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life

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  (516): I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life http://tfl.nu/k5dc
  Replies (13) Good night (4618) Bad night (1203)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better

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  (970): There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better http://tfl.nu/7u74
  Replies (3) Good night (2625) Bad night (1393)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.

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  (419): I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud. http://tfl.nu/pl89
  Replies (19) Good night (3977) Bad night (1111)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.

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  (316): As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on. http://tfl.nu/xyx3
  Replies (6) Good night (744) Bad night (3791)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins

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  (917): I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins http://tfl.nu/1uxv
  Replies (6) Good night (1829) Bad night (748)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death

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  (816): im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death http://tfl.nu/dz9y
  Replies (3) Good night (1640) Bad night (638)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.

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  (336): Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings. http://tfl.nu/e4bs
  Replies (6) Good night (1091) Bad night (803)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup

  (868): View more from Trinidad and Tobago-Carib

  So no more sangria road trips?

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  (913): driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup (868): So no more sangria road trips? http://tfl.nu/l0ze
  Replies (1) Good night (545) Bad night (953)
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  (916): View more from California

  I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.

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  (916): I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background. http://tfl.nu/r9ng
  Replies (4) Good night (1414) Bad night (537)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.

  (1-204): View more from Manitoba

  Sounds like a good New Years

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  (204): I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this. (1-204): Sounds like a good New Years http://tfl.nu/ss2q
  Replies (4) Good night (1328) Bad night (664)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on

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  (405): Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on http://tfl.nu/n0jv
  Replies (4) Good night (283) Bad night (504)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.

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  (928): I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish. http://tfl.nu/fekx
  Replies (0) Good night (632) Bad night (331)

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