I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
