My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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