Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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