We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
