That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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