you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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