You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
