Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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