come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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