Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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