I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
