six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
