I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
