Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
