He asked to "fluff my boner.."
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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