Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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