I need help removing her.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
