I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
