please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
