i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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