Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
