worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
