when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
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My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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