my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
