What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
