yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
