Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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