my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
