worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
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is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
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I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
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