great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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