We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
