Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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