East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I wish I only lived at night.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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