I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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