Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
