Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize