I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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