I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
