go do what you do best...puke behind churches
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
