His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize