mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
