anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
