I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
