Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
