Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
