you would pick up someone in the library
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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