dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
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