i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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