is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
